Change your thinking, change your life..

So what causes us to react, speak or behave in certain ways that we are not always happy with after the event?
Every thought, reaction, choice we make is influenced by the filters that life has caused us to have.

These filters are also called limiting beliefs and they can be a major block in our effort to find our own North Star and true happiness. Some filters, or limiting beliefs are: I’m not good enough – he never listens to me – bad stuff always happens to me – I can’t seem to make good choices for myself – my children’s problems are my fault – I wish I were more intelligent – If only I were more attractive – I could never please my father / mother – I am not good at relationships. I will never get out of debt – My troubled past makes me unlovable – These 20 lbs of baby weight will be permanently attached to my thighs until I die. These are just lies we tell ourselves because we have heard it from someone else in the past or we have been through a time when we have been put down, rejected or ignored. Sometimes it is just a negative thought we have created, told ourselves many times and it has then become a belief.

When we have these beliefs they color everything we do.

Example: The belief I’m not good enough can lead to, my boyfriend / girlfriend / spouse doesn’t think I am good enough. I think he might cheat on me, our relationship won’t last and I’ll screw it up. He’ll want someone more attractive, thinner and more intelligent.

Example: I’m yelling at my son telling him he needs to listen, needs to do something with his life, and that’s coming from a place of I could never please my father and my other half never listens to me. The truth here is that I need to listen to me and my son needs to listen to himself. The funny thing is that when I am telling my son exactly what he should be doing and am yelling and getting very frustrated with him he’s not listening anyway. If my habit is to yell and often be frustrated no one really listens. Who wants to listen to someone who has such an attitude?

When I quietly, lovingly and happily ask my son ‘how’s things going?’ he will sometimes tell me what’s going on with him. Who are you more likely to listen to, a loving peaceful person or an angry, frustrated person?

The answer is to drop limiting beliefs, very hard sometimes but very possible. Who am I when I believe the thought ‘no one listens to me?’ I am angry, feel like a failure, and am often disappointed. Who am I when I question that belief as to its truth and then drop it or choose to think differently? I am peaceful and happy and more confident.

Question your negative thoughts and ask yourself if they are really true. Come up with as many reasons as possible why they may not be true. Then turn the belief around to something positive and more truthful for yourself.
So the turnaround to ‘no one ever listens to me,’ would be sometimes people do listen to me – I need to listen to me – I need to listen to other people.

When you truly get it, it’s liberating and life changing.

angela@livinglifedesign.com

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